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Long Time…

I know it’s been a month since I last blogged… it’s been a month for all of my blogs… I’m not proud of it. But I think it’s about time I came out of hibernation.

The whole 30 challenge wasn’t as stellar as I was hoping, mostly because I had a bit of a…broken…ankle which stopped me from going to the box all that much, so I only lost about 7 pounds overall, and I’ve been struggling with it since then. I’m growing thinner, my chest is smaller and my pants absolutely don’t fit again.

I’ve been still strict Paleo with the exception of dark chocolate since the beginning of the year and my weight has been down since I’ve sprained my non-broken ankle so I’m not working out and being Paleo helps me lose the weight whereas Paleo + CrossFit means I gain weight… I’m sure I’m just not eating enough.

I made pancakes for dinner last night after seeing the recipe on She made banana, vanilla and coconut pancakes with a berry compote. I knew I had everything except for the vanilla bean at home and Boyfriend looked like he wanted to eat the screen they were so delicious-looking. I told him I’d make them for dinner when he came over on Sunday and I hoped they’d be amazing.

The recipe calls for two bananas, smashed (perfect, there’s 7 in the freezer), 3 eggs, 3 tablespoons of coconut flour, a splash of vanilla, 1/4 tsp of baking soda and that’s it!

When I made it, the batter was super thin, so I added almond flour to thicken it a bit and got it to a pancake-consistency but it was kind of a mess to make them. Paleo pancakes are much heavier and much more dense than All-Purpose pancakes, so they don’t flip and/or rise the way AP does. Some of them wound up being rather messy until I went to a smaller pancake size (about 2 inches in diameter at most) and was rather successful. They also need to be much more brown before flipping. Oh! and you need higher heat on the pan/griddle. Trust me on that.

We finished off the pancakes with some of the delicious sides made by Boyfriend’s best friend Jon and his wife Amanda for Christmas. I was so grateful that they made these things Paleo for us that it made the massage I bought her seem so mediocre. She created a wine jam, honey butter and lemon curd. Last night was the first time I’d opened the jars since we got them and it was all SO DELICIOUS. The lemon curd was so tart and sweet at the same time and the honey butter made my heart go all aflutter. The jam was the perfect consistency and mixed all together, the pancakes were just amazing. Boyfriend ate them faster than I’d ever seen him eat.

This morning we woke up and the first words out of his mouth were ‘I think you should make some pancakes for breakfast’ and kept insisting (even to the point of whipping the blankets off me and practically pushing me out of bed) until I was in the kitchen making the pancakes. I altered the recipe slightly in that I didn’t use coconut flour, but almond flour and I only put 2 eggs rather than 3 in the mix. It made the batter thicker right away and it was much easier to pour and cook. We used just the curd and honey butter and I wound up scraping up the remnants of it off the plate when the pancakes were all gone. Golly it’s good.

That picture just doesn’t do it justice at all.

So now I get to digress:

My mom started Paleo (HI MOMMY!) at the beginning of the year and has since lost about 11 pounds and astonished her doctor when her cholesterol and blood pressure came back with increasingly normal numbers. The first thing I said to her when she told me this news? “I TOLD YOU BACON WAS GOOD FOR YOU!”

I’m a really great advocate for fat and bacon, to be honest with you. It’s weird that I tell people ‘eat fat’ but they don’t quite understand how good fat is for you. I mean come on… I wouldn’t be nearly 50 pounds down if I ate carbs. There’s a mason jar half-filled with bacon fat reserves, there’s always at least a pound of bacon and 12 eggs in my fridge and I willingly absorb the shock of groceries by shopping on the perimeter of the store. I don’t remember the last time I had bread…or white sugar…or milk chocolate. I no longer have migraines, I have more energy every day and I sleep way better at night. The pros outweigh the cons immeasurably when it comes to eating Paleo.

So when someone posts a status about eating egg whites with spinach and tomatoes, I think, “Where’s the bacon?” to which I get the reply “Bacon got me into this mess” which I just simply can’t believe is true.

Pasta got you into this mess. Bread got you into this mess. CHEESECAKE GOT YOU INTO THIS MESS!

Cut out grains, dairy, excess sugars– and eat clean foods fresh from the market and you’ll be amazed at how quickly the fat falls away to reveal the real you. This world is so full of processed foods or the new ‘fad’ foods to tell you how bad fat is for you and you shouldn’t be eating eggs or bacon because they’ll ruin your cholesterol when it’s simply not true. Take my mother for example: her blood pressure AND cholesterol are down because she’s eating clean; she’s eating bacon and eggs and she’s getting healthy. She ate carbs before and was on tons of medication to regulate her body… I’m willing to bet that in 6 months she’ll be off almost all of her pills and will just be taking fish oil and a multi-vitamin.

The cavemen had something going for them.

In Preparation

November 17 is coming soon which means the Lurong Paleo challenge will be over and I can consume baked goods again which I’m extremely excited about so I’m planning heartily and trying to figure out a way to contain my desire to bake all the things before the next 12 days goes by.

I continue to put clothing on and find that it’s all just far too big. My chest has shrunk so nothing fits on top really, and my new jeans are already not fitting. It’s kind of scary how many inches I’m losing/have lost, but then I realize how much I really needed to lose so I’m able to justify it for myself. If only I had the funds to actually supplement my wardrobe without having to file bankruptcy…
So here’s what I love about baking:
I can take this recipe, used from Vanilla Garlic, who got it from Aida Mollencamp, and I can change it into something paleo and delicious.

Coffee Bean Chocolate Chip Cookies
Makes about 32 cookies

2 1/4 3 cups Almond flour (Or 2 cups Almond flour and 1 cup coconut flour)
1/3 cup finely ground coffee beans
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon kosher salt
1 cup unsalted butter, room temperature (Strict? Sub out 1/2 cup Coconut oil and 1/2 cup raw honey, melted)
3/4 cup granulated sugar
1/2 cup brown sugar
2 eggs
2 teaspoons vanilla extract
2 cups chocolate chips (dark, please)

Note: These cookies will be DENSE! Very very dense. They won’t lay out the way traditional cookies will but they’ll mostly keep their round shape. If you want them to lay down more, add a little more raw honey to moisten the batter up. They’re just as good in their round form, though!

1. Preheat the oven to 325F and line your cookie sheets with parchment paper. Combine the flour, coffee, baking soda, and salt in a bowl and whisk to aerate; set aside.

2. Place the butter(OR oil/honey), eggs and vanilla in the bowl of a stand mixer and beat the tar out of it for about 3 minutes, making sure to scrape the bottom and sides of the bowl halfway through.

3. Add the flour mixture to the wet mixture and mix until it just comes together. Stir in the chocolate chips and drop 2 tablespoon-sized mounds of dough on the trays, 2 inches apart.

4. Bake for 12-15 minutes. Cool on racks. Eat and serve to loves ones or just caffeinate yourself crazy hard like the addict you know you are.

See how easy that was? And I’m willing to bet you a dollar that they taste delicious… though I wouldn’t really be able to tell you until the 17th.

The cool thing about changing a generic recipe to paleo is that there are paleo substitutes built into the diet. No butter? Coconut oil. No flour? Almond meal/flour. No sugar? NO PROBLEM. These babies are sweet enough with the almonds and chocolate that they don’t need the additional sugar. People haven’t quite realized that if they just didn’t use AP Flour and made the switch to almond or coconut flour, they’d have a lot more flavor and they’d be able to cut out all the crap sugar. Though, you could go with stevia or agave nectar if you really wanted to keep that sugar. The sugar in the cookies will make it mold faster whereas the paleo cookies sans sugar will actually get softer as they sit, making them better day after day. I’m salivating at the thought.

What’s nice about these cookies is that they don’t have an abundance of chocolate and extras, but the coffee will add a little extra bite to the point where it’ll taste a bit like a chocolate covered espresso bean. It’ll be a nice lift for those mornings where we don’t want to wake up and Boyfriend can eat 12 before work and vibrate through his Saturday mornings when he has to wake up at 3 a.m..

Other things on my baking list include banana bread (there’s about 7 bananas in the freezer as I write this), almond bread, chocolate in general, frozen yogurt, paleo pizza crust and the four frozen pizzas in my freezer that I can eat without massive shame when it’s 9 p.m. and I’m exhausted and have no desire to try to make a real meal when the pizza takes 15 minutes to cook and only tastes mildly like crap.

Now it’s time to go to the box and sweat and then go home and try not to eat said frozen pizza.

Salad instead of pizza. Blergh.

I’m bored

Every morning I wake up and make eggs. Or boyfriend makes eggs. Usually always the same: scrambled with an assortment of spices. Bacon. Peppers and onions. I’ve been eating this for breakfast for a month now and I’m bored stiff of it. My apartment smells like fried bacon every morning (and there is NOTHING wrong with that!) but I’ve grown bored with the constancy of my breakfasts.

So I went online and found some recipes but they require some work to get this ball rolling.

Pumpkin muffins lack the protein needed for breakfast but bacon and leftover protein from dinner the night before could work for this need. Their portability and ease to grab and go with my morning coffee makes it perfect for my late-wake-up-get-dressed-don’t-brush-hair-run-out-door-last-minute lifestyle. Plus I really just want to do some baking. I’m feeling domestic. Lay off me.

Pancakes can easily be made with almond flour, but that also requires work. Again, protein can be added easily. I’m kind of awesome with buttermilk pancakes so I assume almond pancakes with almond milk can’t be much different!

Hard boiled eggs is a change of pace while still giving me the eggs I need. Either I can use the mayo in my fridge or I can make my own (there really isn’t much difference) and some spices and I have egg salad or deviled eggs.

I┬ácan make or use ketchup on my eggs, which would add some depth to the flavoring… or use salsa… All of these things can easily be homemade and they would then lack all the preservatives that come in the bottle from the store. Especially since summer is here, I’ll have a ton of tomatoes and pepper to make salsa.

In order to make the almond flour to make most of the things I want here, I need to buy slivered almonds. And lots of them. I also can’t make them until tomorrow since boyfriend has the food processor and I need to pulse the almonds until they make a finely ground meal. Then I’ll be able to jar it and put it in the freezer. Doing things this way is a lot better since it’ll be fresh and it’ll actually taste like almonds rather than dried and processed stuff.

To the grocery store!