Life as RX: It’s About Time!

Thank you, everyone, for enduring with me while I go a month without writing. Life has been a little nutty… and awful… and I hate my current situation but I’m still working on it. If things work better in my favor soon, I’ll have a job in a week or two. Cross your fingers!

Anyway!

I started Paleo and CrossFit a little less than a year ago. I’m so glad all of you are here and reading.

I almost thought I was going to skip the WOD on Wednesday but I decided to do it, since I wouldn’t get another WOD in until next Monday. Two this week wasn’t really enough.

I made sure I drank enough water and showed up early to the box with the intent of working on my Double Unders. I had been really happy with them lately after finally breaking the 2-string and got to 4. I was determined to get to 10, which I did 10 minutes and multiple red welts forming on my arms and shins later.

I didn’t look at the whiteboard, as I usually don’t nowadays, until much later; like when everyone at the 4:30 class was all but done. I knew that they were doing Double Unders and Burpees, I just hadn’t bothered to look at the combinations.

I briefly considered doing this WOD RXed, but figured I’d lose my cool and never be able to get the DUs done. I said this to Brie and she said “Which way would give you a better workout?”

The answer was simple: RX, though it’ll take twice as long.

“Then don’t stop when you’re doing the burpees so you can take your time with the DUs.” which made a lot of sense. I usually take FOREVER with my burpees so I knew I’d have to finish the burpees pretty quickly so I can take my time missing some of the Double Unders and still finish with a good time.

A little bit about Wednesday: The temp peaked at 86 and it felt like it in the box. You were sweating before the class even began. My legs were sticking together and I could feel sweat dripping down my back during the Deadlift strength portion.

So, the WOD:
40 Burpees
50 Double Unders
30 Burpees
50 Double Unders
20 Burpees
50 Double Unders
10 Burpees
50 Double Unders

In order to RX it, you had to do chest-to-deck, stand up with a clap for the burpees and, obviously, you had to do the Double Unders, rather than the 150 singles each round.

I was nervous. My hands were sweating. My brain was in overdrive. 3, 2, 1… GO!

I didn’t look at the clock more than once in the entire WOD. I don’t know how long the burpees all took but I know I sucked on the Double Unders. After swearing a few times, noticing that people were onto their 50 double unders AFTER the 30 burpees and I still had 12 to finish on my first set of DUs, started getting to me. I blocked it out, strung a few sets of 3s and 5s together and managed to get to the burpees again.

I don’t think I’ve quite explained to you all how much I hate burpees. My back hurts every time I do burpees. My knees get gross from the mats, my wrists hurt from being forced to carry my upper half and, if dehydrated for the WOD, I get dizzy when getting up. I left wet handprints on the mat as my sweaty palms hit the rubber again and again.

I was onto the 20 burpees while others were done and many were just finishing up. When I had finished the 20 and moved to my rope, I was sure I was the last person on the floor. Brie, Dan and others hung around, cheering me on and counting for me.

What’s weird about this WOD is that I got exponentially better at Double Unders as the WOD went on… In the first two rounds I was stringing two or five together, but by the 3rd and 4th, I was stringing 10 together each time I started. Every now and then I’d trip up and pace a circle before taking a deep breath and starting again, only to stop after 10, sucking air like my lungs didn’t exist.

10 more burpees and 50 double unders stood in my way. I don’t remember doing the burpees. I blocked them out. It was too hard to get off the floor that I decided my brain didn’t need to remember that moment.

50 Double Unders, broken into sets of 10s and nines and my last two after tripping on the rope a few times, and I was done. I collapsed to my knees, gave the high fives offered to me and asked for my water.

Robb came over after a few minutes and gave me a high five while I was still on the floor. “24:32. RX” I yelled at him, “Make sure you write RX on that board!”

“I’ll put it up in giant block writing.” he joked.

And then he really did.

I hung around the box for a good half hour after I was done and got my bearings. I almost puked. I held it down. I made it home in one piece and proudly announced on Facebook that I had RXed my first WOD in 10 months. I was so proud of myself.

I later realized that I had just done 200 double unders when my previous PR was 10.

Thursday morning I was getting ready for an interview when I noticed a band of bruises on my right forearm. And a welt between my first two knuckles on my left hand. And some red marks on my shins. I love this sport. Doesn’t even matter if I’m bruised and beaten up; I absolutely adore CrossFit. I felt so strong. And still do. Every day.

Whitten

So it’s been a while since I last wrote because I’ve not been in the right state of mind to write. I’ve been in a bit of a funk and I know I should be writing if I’m in a funk because I’ve been WODding but my funk has been affecting my workouts but… you know…

Tonight kicked my butt. After signing up for 4 WODs this week, I saw this post from Coach:

Be sure you are hydrated, well fed (before you come), and rested for tomorrow’s workout… That is all.

I almost thought about canceling my reservation but Boyfriend assured me it would be fun (he says that all the time, and then he does a WOD and says it sucks) and I would do great.

I spent the entire day today nervous, terrified even, especially when someone posted that the WOD was Whitten, a Hero WOD meant to break someone effectively.

“Whitten”

5 rounds for time
22 kettle bell swings
22 box jumps
400m run (500m row)
22 burpees
22 wall balls

I drank copious amounts of water, ate a good lunch, snacked on an apple around 4 and tried to not think about how it’s going to be insane and how the hell am I going to be able to do this WOD in the prescribed time?

I warmed up quickly after getting changed. I saw people with pained expressions, panting, shaking their heads and I knew what my fate was about to be. I was not looking forward to this.

We started right away. I grabbed a 25 pound Kettle Bell and a 10 pound medicine ball and the rower since my ankles are still messed up. Squats felt good so I figured I could get through the wall balls pretty well. My back was a little tweaky but I was going to ignore it as much as possible.

3, 2, 1…GO and the bell felt light for the first 21. I kept pace but slowed down during the box jumps as I do step-ups (Still scared of the stupid box…) Then the row took its toll since it’s 100 meters longer than the other people’s run and rowing takes a lot more work than running in my opinion. Burpees were burpees and the wall balls were strung in 6s and 7s so I was happy.

The wall balls became my rest period. I pussed out and switched to the 20 pound kettlebell and it was super easy but I was able to get through them quickly enough to move onto the step-ups. The row was hell every single time and the burpees tweaked my back a little further with every pike.

Technically, the class had a time-cap of 47 minutes but I told Coach Robb I was going to keep going even if he said ‘time!’ I was in the middle of the last set of my step ups when time was called and I’ll be damned if I get stuck on the time cap and have to settle for a DNF like I’ve done before.

My medicine ball was picked up and I barked at someone (unintentionally) to grab me a new one and then thanked her dearly when she brought it over. I hid behind a set of boxes and finished my burpees while everyone cooled down and did my wall balls with crazy timing.

55:10 and I hit the floor almost as fast as the ball falling to the floor. I laid on the floor for a good few minutes before finally getting up and hobbling to the whiteboard to write down my time (with an exclamation mark, thank you very much!) all ready to come back tomorrow.

My back cramped up pretty hardcore on the way home but I am now full of meatloaf (tomorrow’s post) at one with my couch and will be for a good amount of time.

So in conclusion, thank you for your service and sacrifice, Whitten. Your family was blessed to be a part of your life and I’m glad we could continue your legacy by commemorating you today.

 

Seriously?

I’m sorry to my readers for this is a serious RANT piece.

Naysayers are everywhere and yet I haven’t seen one in a good long while, if ever, against Paleo.

Until Today.

Murphy sent me a link to a post by celebrity writer/blogger Kimberly Snyder (The link has been removed on the Kimberly Snyder website and auto-redirects to some kale chip demo. meh.  I’m not sorry). I’m almost sorry I’m giving her the views on her website. Her ‘beauty detox’ sounds like a load of dookie and I can’t even believe she thinks she’s a credible source of dietary instruction.

I read this article and grew more and more frustrated at the lack of credible information in said article. Sweet potatoes are allowed in Paleo, Fruit isn’t, Paleo doesn’t have celebrity sponsors or frozen meals or addition of grains and totally processed foods in their crap bin of the frozen food section. Seriously?

I couldn’t help myself from posting the below comment after I saw all the people saying ‘thank you for your post Kimberly!’ and ‘you’re so insightful, I’m so glad I didn’t fall into the trap of the fad diets like this Paleo-bunk!’

So I spent a few minutes and wrote this little ditty.

FAT IS YOUR FRIEND, PEOPLE!

I’ve been Paleo since May of last year and I have been steadily losing weight ever since thanks to the fact that I’ve turned my body into a fat-burning, muscle-building machine. I eat eggs and bacon regularly and split my plate in half of meat and vegetables. I only very occasionally allow fruit as the diet calls for due to the sugar levels in most fruit. I eat lean meats, nuts and root vegetables that are farm fresh, grass fed and NATURALLY occur in the world. If it came from the ground or walked on the ground, I allow it. I have lost 50 pounds, at least 15% body fat and gained multiple pounds of muscle thanks to using Paleo in tandem with CrossFit. I have boundless energy that I didn’t have before starting Paleo and my body is naturally beautiful, my skin is flawless and my PCOS is gone all thanks to Paleo.

The people you’re talking about who gorge themselves on as much food as they want are either training for extreme weight lifting or they’re trying to GAIN weight in the form of muscle. Look at Rich Froning Jr. or Chris Spealler. They eat MORE during the day so they gain muscle to help in their CrossFitting. Average Paleans will also employ portion control, rather than just being extreme with their protein as you’re misleading your readers to believe.

Paleo begins with removing all grains, dairy and legumes, whereas Atkins starts with nothing but protein for weeks and then weans you onto fruits, vegetables and grains, making it an inconceivable diet that will not work or last long. Paleo has lasting qualities in that you can eat chocolate (the darker the better!) and coconut and almond milk offer more calcium and vitamins than dairy milk. Sweet potatoes are allowed and have better nutritional value than white potatoes. Those people who think that eggs will raise your cholesterol just haven’t realized how good they are for you once you cut out all that crap that’s weighing you down.

My 63 year-old mother began Paleo after the urging of my brother and me and she incorporated eggs and bacon three times a week as well as being strict Paleo and she lost 11 pounds in a matter of 6 weeks. Her cholesterol and blood pressure are returning to normal for the first time in decades and she has Paleo and FAT to thank for it. She is boosting her metabolism by fueling her body with nothing but what she’s meant to be eating. Grains and carbs were suffocating her body and she’s finally feeling lighter, sleeping better at night and feeling better overall.

How dare you call something as ingenious as Paleo a ‘fad diet’. I can honestly tell you that Paleo is not going anywhere, nor does it need celebrity sponsors to support it in commercials. Just ask the CrossFit community. EAT <b>CLEAN</b>, TRAIN DIRTY.

I’m still a little frustrated, but I’m now seeing more and more people on the Paleo side of things, who see the light, if you will.

I just wanted to post this here in case my comment didn’t make it to the light of the comment board for too much longer.

 

Please note: Inflammatory comments with false information will not be posted on this blog. I know what I’m talking about, otherwise I wouldn’t have this blog. If you don’t know what you’re talking about, I’m not going to allow you to be a troll. I also have your IP Address when you post. Please practice safe Internet. Thank you

Long Time…

I know it’s been a month since I last blogged… it’s been a month for all of my blogs… I’m not proud of it. But I think it’s about time I came out of hibernation.

The whole 30 challenge wasn’t as stellar as I was hoping, mostly because I had a bit of a…broken…ankle which stopped me from going to the box all that much, so I only lost about 7 pounds overall, and I’ve been struggling with it since then. I’m growing thinner, my chest is smaller and my pants absolutely don’t fit again.

I’ve been still strict Paleo with the exception of dark chocolate since the beginning of the year and my weight has been down since I’ve sprained my non-broken ankle so I’m not working out and being Paleo helps me lose the weight whereas Paleo + CrossFit means I gain weight… I’m sure I’m just not eating enough.

I made pancakes for dinner last night after seeing the recipe on Paleomg.com. She made banana, vanilla and coconut pancakes with a berry compote. I knew I had everything except for the vanilla bean at home and Boyfriend looked like he wanted to eat the screen they were so delicious-looking. I told him I’d make them for dinner when he came over on Sunday and I hoped they’d be amazing.

The recipe calls for two bananas, smashed (perfect, there’s 7 in the freezer), 3 eggs, 3 tablespoons of coconut flour, a splash of vanilla, 1/4 tsp of baking soda and that’s it!

When I made it, the batter was super thin, so I added almond flour to thicken it a bit and got it to a pancake-consistency but it was kind of a mess to make them. Paleo pancakes are much heavier and much more dense than All-Purpose pancakes, so they don’t flip and/or rise the way AP does. Some of them wound up being rather messy until I went to a smaller pancake size (about 2 inches in diameter at most) and was rather successful. They also need to be much more brown before flipping. Oh! and you need higher heat on the pan/griddle. Trust me on that.

We finished off the pancakes with some of the delicious sides made by Boyfriend’s best friend Jon and his wife Amanda for Christmas. I was so grateful that they made these things Paleo for us that it made the massage I bought her seem so mediocre. She created a wine jam, honey butter and lemon curd. Last night was the first time I’d opened the jars since we got them and it was all SO DELICIOUS. The lemon curd was so tart and sweet at the same time and the honey butter made my heart go all aflutter. The jam was the perfect consistency and mixed all together, the pancakes were just amazing. Boyfriend ate them faster than I’d ever seen him eat.

This morning we woke up and the first words out of his mouth were ‘I think you should make some pancakes for breakfast’ and kept insisting (even to the point of whipping the blankets off me and practically pushing me out of bed) until I was in the kitchen making the pancakes. I altered the recipe slightly in that I didn’t use coconut flour, but almond flour and I only put 2 eggs rather than 3 in the mix. It made the batter thicker right away and it was much easier to pour and cook. We used just the curd and honey butter and I wound up scraping up the remnants of it off the plate when the pancakes were all gone. Golly it’s good.

That picture just doesn’t do it justice at all.

So now I get to digress:

My mom started Paleo (HI MOMMY!) at the beginning of the year and has since lost about 11 pounds and astonished her doctor when her cholesterol and blood pressure came back with increasingly normal numbers. The first thing I said to her when she told me this news? “I TOLD YOU BACON WAS GOOD FOR YOU!”

I’m a really great advocate for fat and bacon, to be honest with you. It’s weird that I tell people ‘eat fat’ but they don’t quite understand how good fat is for you. I mean come on… I wouldn’t be nearly 50 pounds down if I ate carbs. There’s a mason jar half-filled with bacon fat reserves, there’s always at least a pound of bacon and 12 eggs in my fridge and I willingly absorb the shock of groceries by shopping on the perimeter of the store. I don’t remember the last time I had bread…or white sugar…or milk chocolate. I no longer have migraines, I have more energy every day and I sleep way better at night. The pros outweigh the cons immeasurably when it comes to eating Paleo.

So when someone posts a status about eating egg whites with spinach and tomatoes, I think, “Where’s the bacon?” to which I get the reply “Bacon got me into this mess” which I just simply can’t believe is true.

Pasta got you into this mess. Bread got you into this mess. CHEESECAKE GOT YOU INTO THIS MESS!

Cut out grains, dairy, excess sugars– and eat clean foods fresh from the market and you’ll be amazed at how quickly the fat falls away to reveal the real you. This world is so full of processed foods or the new ‘fad’ foods to tell you how bad fat is for you and you shouldn’t be eating eggs or bacon because they’ll ruin your cholesterol when it’s simply not true. Take my mother for example: her blood pressure AND cholesterol are down because she’s eating clean; she’s eating bacon and eggs and she’s getting healthy. She ate carbs before and was on tons of medication to regulate her body… I’m willing to bet that in 6 months she’ll be off almost all of her pills and will just be taking fish oil and a multi-vitamin.

The cavemen had something going for them.

Tabata is a Cruel, Cruel Mistress

The Whole30 paleo challenge is going well enough. I’m down another 3 pounds since last Tuesday so I’m happily only 2o pounds away from my next, technically final, goal weight. I’m probably going to continue to lose more weight as it needs to come off, but I’m going to be so happy to be at 170. Then at least my drivers license will not be lying for the first time in my life.

I write this as I crunch down on some carrots that taste funky. (checking for expiration) Oops… they expired in the beginning of December. (stomach just grumbled) And into the garbage they go!

I’m meeting with the gals I used to work with at Kohl’s tonight for dinner at a sushi restaurant. I made sure the restaurant will have non-sushi things so I can actually enjoy my meal tonight and not have to cheat. I love the way I look today: This dress makes me look so slender and I feel great when I wear it. I’m also in so much muscle pain today from last night’s WOD that I needed to look awesome otherwise today would have just been a total disaster. I’m sure you ladies know what I’m talking about.

So onto last night:

I was really dreading this WOD when I walked into the box last night. I hate Tabata. With a passion. The starting and stopping is the worst part of this 20 minutes of hell.

For those of you who don’t know what Tabata is:
20 seconds on, 10 seconds off for 8 rounds. 4 minutes per action.

Before the WOD was the strength section where we found our 5-rep max. I didn’t find it, but I got close with a 75 pound 5RM. I knew my 3RM from a while ago was 80 and my 1RM is 95 I think from about two months ago. My thighs and sternum are slightly bruised but other than that I’m no worse for the wear. I loved hearing Tyler say my clean was good, too, as it’s on of my favorite movements and I know I do them well. It felt so great having that recognition.

Did I fail to mention I also got a Squat Snatch a week ago?! Elated, I tell  ya! It was only with 35 pounds on the bar, but that was something I’ve been struggling with for a while. My squat-clean isn’t much better, but my front squat is lower than my power clean, so I have to work on that transition a lot more.

Anyway. The WOD:

TABATA THIS
Row for calorie
Air squats
Pull ups
Push ups
Sit ups

Your total rep count is the lowest amount of reps you did throughout the entire action. If your lowest calorie count was 6, that’s the rep count for that action.

I started off OK, with a 4 calorie row at the lowest, but killed myself on the rower to keep at 4 calories. My legs were shot before even starting the squats and got a pitiful 7. I knew pull ups would be tough so I got 3 and was OK with it. Push ups were evil as my shoulders hurt like hell from the pull ups so I got 7. Sit ups were just rude: 8. Total of 29.

I texted “wahh” to Boyfriend and he said ‘at least you’re CrossFitting tonight’ (he’s illin, so I hope he doesn’t try to WOD until it’s gone).

My legs were jello as soon as we were done. Actually they were jello after the rowing, but my muscles were twitching as I got up and made my way around, putting stuff away. My arms still twitched as I went to knit night and they finally calmed down when I sat down at the table and knit and finished the cuff to my sock (shh. We’re not talking about them. If I don’t talk about them, they might get done!) until I was hungry and went home to pork tenderloin and sweet potato mash. I went to bed early and slept deeply until my evil alarm went off this morning.

I got out of bed and HOBBLED to the bathroom. Quads hurt, lats hurt, butt hurt, back hurt, abs hurt, sternum where the barbell hit hurt, shoulders and triceps hurt. I felt like an 80 year old man with all the ailments I’m facing. I’ve been trying not to move all that much even though I know I should and when I do get up, I regret sitting back down. I’ve had over 60 oz of water and coffee today and the muscles are probably soaking up every ounce.

In any case, tonight is a skip-day for wodding (like I could wod tonight anyway!) so I’m looking forward to that big juicy steak and veggies. Hope you’re all starting your years off on a great note! Leave me a comment with your crossfit/paleo goals for the new year–  I’d love to hear how everyone else is faring!

Whole30

It’s that time again.

This holiday totally kicked my ass. Like totally and completely.

It all started good and well with lots of paleo goodness with spaghetti squash and marinara, burgers and lots of veg. No cheats for the week before leaving for Seattle to visit my brother.

Then we went to Seattle. I can’t even begin to tell you how weighed down I felt after eating cheat meal after cheat meal with only a few meals actually being Paleo. Miracle of miracles, I lost 1.5 pounds while on vacation. Don’t worry, I gained back a pound in the next two days after dinner with Boyfriends’ family, then another bash with his family and finally another bash last night with the extended family. My stomach is now really angry with me so I’m hoping this challenge will set me straight and make my belly happy again.

Seattle was amazing, though. We WODded at Emerald City CrossFit just east of Downtown and it was my first WOD in two weeks since spraining my ankle. I was nervous and hoped that I’d be able to keep up with Boyfriend and other people in the box, and I was amazed that my ankle was willing to support me while I jumped in the Team Double Under Cindy.

Team DU Cindy
20 Minute AMRAP
5 pull ups
10 push ups
15 squats

One partner completes one round of Cindy while the other partner does as many DUs as possible. (singles 3:1). 30 double unders (90 singles) equal one round. When done, give one number of rounds.

It was FUN! I missed the pain, the hard breathing, the bent over-hands-on-knees-trying-to-breathe feeling. And I loved how the black band made my pullups SO EASY. I almost felt like I could have gone to a smaller set of bands, but because of the ankle, I didn’t want to test fate. We both walked out with the highest number (because we did single unders) and a couple great t-shirts. They were extremely nice and we enjoyed visiting them. I’m sure we’ll be back soon.

That was the last time I WODded. It hurts, not being able to make it into the box. Work has me at the office for 12 hours a day if I want to have a decent paycheck and the holidays leave me out of time to do anything other than travel and hang out with Boyfriends’ and my families. At least I got a lot of knitting done this holiday. I also did a lot of eating and cheating. I feel like my body is getting squishier so, while I planned on working 12 hours today, I’ll be leaving in time to go WOD instead. It has to happen. I. Must. WOD.

Now we’re back to the real world and next week will be a regular work week (yay!) so now I’m planning on losing some weight first thing in the year. Badger CrossFit is doing a Whole30 paleo challenge where you are strict paleo for 30 days. They’ve also required that you drink your required water amounts and get a WOD in three times a week. This week I’ll only have two WODs, one of which has to be at home, but we have to write down everything we eat and what our WOD was and post onto our group on facebook. It’s super simple for me to get back into the swing of paleo because of how I feel right now, I can’t wait to remember that I am being held accountable to a group of people to stay strict and not cheat. I want to lose 10-15 pounds this month, keep going through next month and lose another 10-15 and be at my goal weight of 165-170 by my birthday in March.

I’m eating a giant salad as I write this, taking a 10 minute break from the nuttiness at work. The only questionable thing in the salad is the dried apricots, but they’re so delicious and good for you that I can’t help myself but to include it into the salad.

So day 1 is off to a great start. I’m going to the box tonight (YES) for some sweating and feel-good-ness.

I’m doing things slowly this year– making this resolution is something I know I can stick with so why bother writing up resolutions I won’t actually complete. I’ll knit and WOD and eat delicious paleo instead. What are some of your resolutions this year?

Fight Gone Bad

Yeah, it certainly did.

I think it’s pretty clear that I don’t like DNFing but I had no reason to do so until two minutes before FGB was finished that I totally experienced the brain-splitting agony of a DNF.

I saw in the morning that Coach had done and PRed on Fight Gone Bad, so I really hoped that we were doing it. I was stoked, to say the least. I sent Boyfriend a text with a big smiley face and anticipated the end of the day.

During warmups, I grabbed my jump rope and started doing single unders during one of my favorite Dubstep songs: “Zombies ate my neighbors” by Schoolboy. I jumped to the beat and every now and then tried doing a double under. On the fourth or so try, the rope didn’t smack my shins and I looked down to see the rope was still moving. I had just gotten a double under. I immediately burst into a crazy-person laugh before announcing it finally happened! Then I kept going. A few single unders and I’d have the double under. I tried stringing them together but I figured it was about actually doing them, not getting many together.

We warmed up with a skill of Turkish Getups, something I don’t think I’m very good at, but I managed to get 5 done without dropping the little 10 pound bell on my head so I viewed it as a win.

The strength was a bit of a let down to me. It was 7 sets of 2 hang power cleans into a push jerk. I knew my normal power clean was something upwards of 100 pounds, so I figured it’d be OK. I got up to 85 pounds in the fifth set and got one but couldn’t get the bar up before I bailed. This occurred for another two rounds and I could only get one clean out of the high hang position. It pissed me off after the third time. I yelled out and kept trying to shake out my shoulders but the stupid bar just wouldn’t go up. I settled there but it was still on my mind.

We had a few minutes to set up for the WOD and we were told to use a bar for the Sumo-Deadlift Hi-Pulls and a different bar on the other side of the gym for the Push Press. I set them both up at 35 since I don’t know what my SDHP is, and I figured I’d be gassed from everything else and I went along my business.

After about 15 SDHP I couldn’t really feel my shoulders. I did box jumps on five 45 pound plates, Did wall balls with a 10 pound ball and got about 10 calories rowed in each round.

It was the third round that it all went down: The SDHP went fine, I got 15 that round and moved onto the box jumps where I got another 13, went back to the push press and got up to 45 total reps. At the rotation I headed to the rower. I’m sure it was all very graceful and everything as it happened. I’m making my way to the rower and all of a sudden my foot decided to stop supporting me and it rolled under me and I went down in a mass of flailing arms and ridiculous expressions. I yelled out an “OW!” and banged my fists on the mat (to show that mat-bastard just how angry I was with it) and coach made his way over to me, helped me onto a plyo box and told me to stay there for a few minutes. I cradled my idiot ankle for a good five minutes while the rest of the people there made it through the WOD Without injury and, after removing my shoe, I hobbled over to the front of the box to my stuff.

I told Coach my reps and was sad to say my total was 178, which would have definitely been over 200 had I not killed myself. I massaged the ankle a bit and traced the alphabet before putting my shoe on and hobbled out of the building. I stopped at Walgreens, bought an ACE bandage and some one-time use ice packs and made my way to knit night where I put my foot up on a stool and iced it for an hour or so. I hobbled home around 9:30 and had to face the THREE FLIGHTS OF STAIRS in my apartment to get from my car to my bed. Not cool.

I got into the apartment, got up to bed and started a load of laundry before removing the ace bandage to replace it with the good cloth one in my medicine cabinet. I slept so hard and good thanks to the three advil I popped. I woke up at 6:30, took off the ace bandage and tried to gingerly stand with the foot.

Probably a bad idea. I dragged the foot behind me into the bathroom and narrowly made it into the shower without falling over. Hot water made it feel better and I was feeling a little more dextrous after that. I applied two strips of KT Tape (because it’s all I had) and wrapped the ace bandage around me again. I found a crappy old pair of ballet flats and slid into them even though they don’t match my outfit; they fit my giant foot, so I went with it.

Three flights of stairs taken one step at a time and I was in my car on my way to work. The ice pack was on my desk and my foot was on it. I didn’t care how unprofessional it was; if someone said anything to me, I’d show them the giant club I have for a foot and they’d be able to walk away.

So I guess the fight really did go bad… I called the chiropractor and hope to have an appointment in the next couple days and I’m thinking a modwod is in order for later this week to avoid the ankle, but still give me a good workout.

The three advil I took earlier today have kicked in. Excuse me while I go get the ice pack.

Not Enough Caffeine in the World

Who knew that roasted, salted almonds could look like this all of a sudden when you go to open the bag to enjoy some lovely almonds when you’re falling asleep at your desk?

I DIDN’T!!!

Who knew that a person who was in dire need of said almonds because she may or may not be extremely exhausted, go apeshit upon realizing that said almonds cannot be consumed without throwing up?

I DID!

I guess this is what I get for not sleeping enough over the last week and a half. What a crappy way to start my week.

I shall make up for it with Tomato Basil soup with chorizo sausage cooked in. It has lots of spice and zing to it and it’s delicious. I made a chorizo-laced chicken noodle soup for boyfriend too and I imagine he’ll be diving in within the next hour or so. I love leftovers. In fact, I think I’ll go and purchase more of this soup and chorizo because it’ll be easy to live off it for the next week until I get paid.

Mind the tupperware. May it be noted that 10 seconds later, this container was emptied and I practically licked the thing clean. omnomnom

For those who want to know, the almonds are probably about a year old. It’s understandable that they would commit almond-cide, but it doesn’t make me any less sad for their passing.

The soups are Progresso Tomato Basil and Chicken Noodle. I got a pound of chorizo sausages from the meat section and, after removing the intestinal skin from the sausages, dropped 2.5 sausages worth of little meatballs into each of the soups where they happily bubbled away cooking the sausages to perfection. They let go of their spicy oils and flavored the soups with just enough zing to really make you think about what you’re eating.

A Formal Request to Caribou Coffee

I am a frequent visitor of the HWY 100/18 Bou and I come in every Monday for knit night where my friends and I stay for up to three hours drinking coffee, getting treats and generally enjoying ourselves. I would love to say I adore the drinks you have but, I’ve only been able to drink tea from your company because I am unable to drink dairy or soy milk. Usually this isn’t a problem but I would love to be able to order something off your menu with the opportunity to drink almond or coconut milk in my drink, hot or cold. I have spoken with your baristas a few times about this and they informed me that I am not the only patron who has this same issue. This is why I am e-mailing you today.

I’m on the Paleo diet, which restricts the kinds of foods I eat based on making your body a fat burning machine by way of protein. As such, I do not consume grains, bread, dairy, legumes and processed sugars. I’m sure you can now see how almost nothing in your menu fits these restrictions other than tea, black coffee(which I don’t want at 8 p.m.) and your sparkling water. I adore your teas but sometimes I want an almond milk dark chocolate hot cocoa. Can you see how that would be absolutely delicious? With the substitution of coconut/almond milk in place of your other dairy, the menu opens up completely and I’m sure I would enjoy my experience at your stores much more.

I’d also like to make the proposal to, at some point in the future, switch to stevia, raw honey or even agave nectar than clove honey. Clove honey is overly processed and full of extra sugars, where as raw honey is straight from the bees, usually tastes like the flowers in which the pollen originated, and has even been known to alleviate allergies when you buy local honey (in Wisconsin, it’s usually “Kallas” brand. Agave nectar is much lighter but it doesn’t process in your body like white sugar and it’s much sweeter in less doses than sugar. As someone unable to consume processed sugars and white sugar, stevia, raw honey and agave are the only things available to me to sweeten up my drinks. None of these things are available in your stores.

I understand if this adds more to your menu, but it’s more of a substitution and I’m sure many people would appreciate it if you could help them enjoy your coffees more. I don’t know of a single coffee shop in the area that makes their drinks with these two milks so you could be paving the way for a new way to enjoy your favorite drinks. Almond and coconut milk can be substituted in any case you would have dairy milk. Unsweetened vanilla almond milk is great as an addition to coffee for those who don’t want 1/2 and 1/2 etc. Both of these milks also have much more nutrition properties than dairy milk and soy milk.

If you are unable to accommodate this request, I’d like to know if it would be possible to bring in my own almond milk to have the baristas create my drink. I’d be happy to pay for a regular hot chocolate, but have them use my milk so I can have a better experience in your stores.

I would greatly appreciate the opportunity to enjoy your drinks more often so if you could help me out with this request and/or point me in the direction of with whom I can speak to get answers regarding my request, I would be more than happy to work with you all.

Thank you ever so much.

Ode to an Oven

Dear Oven,

I have missed you so much. Have I ever told you how much I adore you? I don’t think I have and it’s time you know the truth.

I’ll admit, I was skeptical the first day we met because you’re electric and I’ve only ever had a gas oven and stovetop but I was willing to give you the benefit of the doubt and open my heart to you. I’d had my feelings hurt before from ovens that have died, lied to me about their temperature or simply not cooked my food, so I was so happy to find that you were extremely clean, didn’t reek of burnt cheese whenever I cooked something in you and you cooked my food at an alarmingly fast rate.

It was meant to be from the very beginning.

I’m sorry I dropped that giant piece of garlic pizza crust onto your heating coil which cause it to set on fire and only narrowly not blow up the kitchen. I bet that scared you almost as much as it scared me. I blame myself for that incident, as well as forgetting about that burned piece of garlic pizza crust until the next time I turned you on to bake some cookies, which caused the apartment to smell like burning. I quickly retrieved the crust from your belly and I’m sure you were grateful, which you showed with delicious cookies.

I’m so terribly sorry I’ve had to neglect you over the last two months. I swear it wasn’t intentional. I thought we could live harmoniously during this strict Paleo time; baking banana bread and cookies and other delicious things while I did the LuRong challenge, but I quickly found out that I couldn’t use you at all and your stovetop got more action that I care to mention. I longed for the days of being able to watch you bake cookies and muffins and breads.

Instead I walked past you day after day… not thinking twice about how much I needed to be domestic; how much I wanted to bake. I came to avoid your judging glances and hateful comments whenever I turned on the stovetop again to make bacon and eggs. I tried buttering you up by cleaning your door and handle when bacon fat splattered or I got soup spilled, but you were so angry with me.

I hoped one day we could be together again in harmonious bliss…And now that day has come.

And I’m not looking back.

And I know we’re going to have a very happy time together… until my lease runs out or I move out. But we’re going to make the most of the days we have together. And that includes lots of baking and roasting and lots of time with you at 325 degrees F.

With all my adoration and gratitude,

Amanda

P.S. Did I ever mention that boyfriend likes you too? From your broiler to the way the racks move so easily up and down, to the wonderful way you bake those cookies and muffins. If it weren’t for his new oven, I’m sure he’d be begging to hang out with you more often.